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… rantings of a depressive procrastinator. Did I mention, I write? …

I Like Lists

Sunday 24 April 2011 - Filed under Featured Articles

WritingPen      That’s something I don’t like admitting … yes, I do like lists. Admitting it, though, makes me feel vulnerable, like telling people I save string, or collect thimbles — like I’m owning up that I’m a person with a small life, who needs to get out more.

     I do like lists, though. I like making them, often move items from high on the list to lower down – scratch  off a task, errand, or person, sometimes with remorse.  I’ll tell you more about that last bit.

     A task needn’t be urgent to make that list. It simply wants doing and when I write it down, that’s a commitment — me promising myself that I’ll do it — and I know it will hang over my head. To get scratched off, the deed must be satisfactorily finished. Over with. Kaput. Errands, on the other hand, are not concrete. They’re just reminders: grocery store, bakery, cleaners. Go by the bank.

     There are lists, then there are LISTS. My Christmas card LIST is legendary. When a person has made it to my list, all that needs to happen is: I met them more than once and still like them; late November arrives and I still laugh at what they have to say and have their home mailing address — businesses or organizations have no place on my Christmas card list — people only.  Pretty much, if you’ve ever made it to my Christmas card list and a December comes you don’t receive one, find out where to send flowers: I will have died.

     Then, there’s the Never-Again- Visit-This-Restaurant LIST: once on, the designation is permanent. My favorite burger joint recently made this one: Johnny’s. After 10 months’ successful weight watching, I treated myself to Onion Rings and a CaesarBurger at Johnny’s – the original. Minutes later, in the car, I felt an unpleasant sensation in my mouth: lard-coated teeth. Eewww! Before turning onto the street, an MSG-reaction started and lasted 45-minutes.  Hard to make this list, but it, too, is permanent.

     How do people earn a spot on my LIST? This one is the hardest of all.  I like people. Talk to strangers; invite them home with me; give them advice; swap contact information with strangers, yes, I do.  Don’t care (much) what they look like (OK, I’m slightly superficial. I’ll give you that.) But for a person to make the Never Again In a Hundred Years LIST, they only need to prove themselves cruel and toxic. (You know who they are.) People who suck the oxygen out of a room, who show little true regard for another’s tastes, politics, or preferences (in foods, drapery fabrics, wines, or sexual partners), and expect the rest of us to play well with others (meaning: bend to their will.)

     Since you might be a stranger, I’ll give you some free advice: If you have people in your life whom you honestly, deep-down-in-your-heart know are detrimental to your quality of life, put them on YOUR list. Like olives in a bottle, the first one is hardest. Unlike olives, though, you won’t miss ‘em.

2011-04-24  »  Kate

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