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… rantings of a depressive procrastinator. Did I mention, I write? …

WAG #30: Paybacks are Hell

Wednesday 14 July 2010 - Filed under WAG

      I last saw Daddy when I was eight. He said he was “getting married”; he said he wouldn’t be seeing me again, but–dammit–I was eight. Glad for him, I guess I wondered if I’d be going to visit him, now that he’d have a house. What I didn’t get was he was walking away to a new life, minus me.

     Years passed. When I visited his mother, she talked about him, told me when they’d had a baby, but he never came. After a while, I morphed from kid to teenager, dived head-first into Rock ‘n Roll, fads and fashion, was maybe a little brighter than some, more intuitive than most, and was drafted onto the basketball team.  Life went on.  And on.  And on.

      The boy of my dreams came to love me; I gave him my heart and bore his children–fine, bright-eyed, healthy children; each in turn also grew up. Life continued its march. My children at university, themselves falling in love and making plans, shortly before I was 50, I learned my Dad had died. All hell broke loose inside me — it was so fucking final — anger alternated with sadness. Fade to black.

     None of us knew I’d be one of Them one day, one whom spirits visit.  Few know it now. One evening as I was falling asleep, a familiar shape appeared near the balcony door. I hadn’t seen it in decades: Dad.  It didn’t go well, certainly not what he likely expected. I screamed at him, swore, possibly gave him the dressing-down of his,  uh,  existence, unleashed my long-overdue anger at him. As surprised as he might have been, our encounter was brief.

     He has been back twice more.  I condemned him–in my anger–to stay the hell away from me and mine, insisted he never again choose to be involved in any future life I may have.  He made an extraordinary request of me. “Will you forgive me? Will you rescind your demand that I never again involve myself in your life?”

 I wish I knew more about the between- or after- life — when we are still who we are, but are not confined to being human. To tell you the whole truth, I need to think it over.

WAG Topic #30: “Broken”. This week write about something broken: toys, bones, hearts: it can be anything that just doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to any more.  Your piece can be as long or short as you want, using any form you like.  No Rules! Now Write! (You may add links to this list between now and 20 JULY 2010.)

2010-07-14  »  Kate

Talkback x 5

  1. Twitted by girlfrenkate
    15 July 2010 @ 11:11 am

    [...] This post was Twitted by girlfrenkate [...]

  2. Tweets that mention WAG #30: Paybacks are Hell | Kate McIntire -- Topsy.com
    15 July 2010 @ 11:32 am

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter. Kate McIntire said: This Just In: "Paybacks are Hell" http://bit.ly/arqMKI on #WAG 30 @IndiaDrummond's Writers Adventure Group. All writers & readers welcome! [...]

  3. Estrella Azul
    18 July 2010 @ 2:07 pm

    Wow, this was powerful and wonderfully written!
    I’d like to think he won’t give up on her this time around and keep going back…

    @Estrella – Thanks for visiting–please come back & often–and thank you for leaving a comment. You weren’t put off by the supernatural dynamic! Good for you. I hope he keeps coming back until he learns what he needs to know and so does she.

  4. Walt
    20 July 2010 @ 11:57 am

    So much packed into such a short piece. I wasn’t ready for it to end and wanted more. Excellent job of drawing in the reader.

    @Walt. Thanks so much. Knowing exactly how you felt while reading it let’s me know if I’m on the right track. Wasn’t my choice for my new WIP, but these ’spirits’ keep showing up and wanting to be explored & expressed. [Me, I want to write a blockbuster murder, or a cozy, or an intelligent and layered literary piece. Damn! My characters want otherwise.]

  5. J. M. Strother
    22 July 2010 @ 9:00 pm

    I could have sworn I left a comment yesterday, but maybe not. Sometimes, if I’m sneaking a read when I shouldn’t be I don’t take the time to comment meaning to come back later. Well, it’s later.

    I thought this was very well done, and quite poignant. There’s a lot of hurt here, and I’m not sure he really deserves to be forgiven, but perhaps she will find it in her heart to do so… eventually. Good story.
    ~jon

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